Friday, September 07, 2007

An "overcoming" Friday Five

Faithful Sally took the time to give us this thoughtful Friday Five, even as her son Chris is in hospital today for another cardiac procedure. Let's keep Chris and Sally and their family in our prayers--and thank you, Sally, for this Friday Five.

1.Have you experienced God's faithfulness at a difficult time? Tell as much or as little as you like...

We went through roughly six or seven years of infertility treatment, and during and shortly after that time I had two miscarriages, in 1991 and 1998. Those of you who have walked this path know the frustrations and the misery, as well as the indignities and humiliations we suffered at the hands of the medical profession. I do feel that God sustained us through all of this, and allowed us to grow closer through this trial, rather than (as often happens) farther apart. But our not having kids is definitely on my list of "why" questions for Jesus.

2. Have you experienced a dark night of the soul, if so what brought you through?

I started to say glibly, "see above", but upon reflection I don't think that's accurate. Through times of grief, loneliness, and depression, for some reason I have never felt that God was gone. Even when I yelled and raged at God, I have always felt like Someone was hearing me rage--even if that Someone was not responding in a way I could hear just then. Friends certainly have helped--have been my lifeline at particular times. And time itself has helped on occasion, too.

3. Share a Bible verse, song, poem that has brought you comfort?

"For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope." Jeremiah 29:11

4. Is "why suffering" a valid question?

Certainly, although I don't know whether we ever get any answers in this life. Actually I think we should assume that suffering is an integral part of our existence on earth, instead of being shocked when it touches us. This is a fallen world, filled with fallen creatures who often choose to do destructive and terrible things to one another. And the earth has its own vicissitudes--hurricanes, tornadoes, floods--that cause great suffering and over which we usually have little control. Perhaps "what do we need to be doing about it" is a more useful question than "why".

5. And on a lighter note- you have reached the end of a dark and difficult time- how are you going to celebrate?

Quietly. In such a time of recovery, I would want to go away to some beautiful place, to be alone with my husband, to just eat and drink things that would nourish body and soul, and walk, and talk a little, and think about where we'd been, and mostly sleep.

Bonus- anything you wish to add....

My answer to #4 seems a bit glib to me, and I certainly don't mean it that way. We have a responsibility to prevent suffering whenever we can, and to aid and comfort those who are suffering. Our righteous anger at evil, and our efforts on behalf of those who are suffering, are necessary. I don't believe we can completely eradicate suffering on the earth, because we cannot completely eradicate evil at this time. But we have to pray and work to make a difference, however we can.


Jan said...

Zorra, thank you for sharing. I feel much sadness for you with your attempts to have babies. My mother had me prematurely and then had four miscarriages in the following years. A sadness that goes deep. I am so sorry. And thank you for your bonus reflection. That's good.

Princess of Everything (and then some) said...

That is my favorite promise.

I do not know why you did not get are such a good mom figure. I will let Bebo come and stay with you for awhile if you would like!

Sally said...

Zorra, thank you for sharing your thoughts, and your saddness, and for your prayers for us.

As for your answer to #4 I think you are right we must ask what we can do!

Presbyterian Gal said...

Yes, what Mindy said. And I'll send Wonderboy to visit too!

I agree with your bonus. We have to do what we can. Nevermind the outcome. It's the doing that's our commission and God will take care of the outcome, I believe. Plus don't you find that it's in our trying that fulfills the "seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added unto you." And that's where we can work through to eventually find our own kind of peace.

Probably what Mother Theresa went through from the sounds of it.

Songbird said...

zorra, your answers are rich and deep, as is your life. Thank you.
I haven't forgotten the interview questions. I have just been distracted!

Serena said...

I didn't go thru what you did trying to conceive, but have walked the journey with friends who did. I feel your sadness, and appreciate you sharing. Such a mystery why some people who, in my view should never be parents, are ... and so many who would be great parents aren't.

Rev Kim said...

Zorra, thank you for sharing this. Your journey is powerful and profound. We are at the very beginning of the infertility struggle. It helps to hear people talk so honestly and deeply about it.

zorra said...

I appreciate all of your comments. We have built a very full life without children (and believe me, being childfree certainly has its advantages), but not having kids has been the greatest disappointment I have ever had to face. When you are used to being an "achiever", it's humbling to be in a situation where you absolutely cannot achieve your goal through your own efforts. Thanks for your comments.

PG and Mindy, I'd love to see the kids, but you have to come too!! :)

Anonymous said...

I too liked your bonus response. Sometimes, we get so bogged down in our own suffering, it's hard to try (or even want) to make a difference in someone else's life. Yet that's what we've been called to do.