BAM! Kerchunk!

That, friends, is the sound my 20-year-old gas dryer made on Sunday night. Fortunately it was holding the very last of five loads; unfortunately, it had just started. Incisive diagnostician that I am, after I detached my fingers and toes from the ceiling and resumed breathing, I thought, "It finally threw a belt." And so it had.

Being married to a handy person is a great blessing. I think one of the minor reasons why I married the Scientist is that he can fix anything, or at least is willing to try. He dismantled the ancient dryer, discovering the busted belt, a prodigious amount of lint, a front door key that went missing two years ago, and $1.63 in change. Thank God for him, and for repairclinic.com (if you are handy, or live with someone who is, this is a wondrous website). Our new dryer innards are on the way.

Anyway (Still with me? Still awake?), all that is to say, that that is why we walked down to my MIL's house late at night with a load of wet laundry, how we got sucked into watching the Oscars instead of simply drying our clothes and going home at a reasonable hour, and how I wound up staying up until 12:30 and stumbling around like a zombie all day yesterday. The only time I wasn't thinking "do not lie down...do not close eyes" was while I was with a client. As soon as my client left, I was sleepy again. It felt great to go to bed on time last night.

Oh, and my client. I have a marvelous new referral source: the local Catholic Archdiocese. When I served on CPM, and used to read my candidates' psychological evaluations, I envied the psychologists who got to do that work. Then several months ago, a colleague who has been doing a lot of these evals for the Archdiocese introduced me to the priest who is in charge of the Office of Vocations, and to my delight he has sent me four candidates this month.

I love talking with these men. Some are mature in their faith and in their personal lives, self-aware, filled with love for God and the church, and I think they will be wonderful priests. Others are more in the inquirer stage, still finding their way, wondering if this still small voice they've been hearing could really be God's. I've been a little surprised how frank they are willing to be about their sexual struggles and their feelings about celibacy--but they realize that's one of the big things we need to discuss. Family of origin issues, childhood trauma--it's all there, and most of them seem willing to take a closer look at the impact these things could have on their ministry. I feel so privileged to meet with them, and pray that they will gain some useful insights from their evaluations. Healthy clergy, equipped to lead healthy churches, is my prayer--for all of us, not just the Catholics!

Hold your applause

Is anyone else still annoyed by applause in church, or is it just me?

98% of the congregation applauds whenever the children's choirs "perform" for the "audience". Doting Moms and Dads may feel that little Murgatroyd will be crushed if his effort is not applauded. I say it's time to teach little Murgatroyd the difference between a worship service and a school assembly, not to mention teaching him who the Audience really is.

Please take a look at this. I can't say it any better than that.

Sincerely yours,
Old Cranky-pants Church Lady

Friday Five: Tourist Edition

1. What is one place you make sure to take out-of-town guests when they visit? (you can be vague to preserve your anonymity if you like)

The drive into downtown Houston from the airport is hideous--freeways with no vegetation, used car lots, and billboard after billboard advertising "gentlemen's clubs"--and could easily lead visitors to think that they have arrived in the world's ugliest city. So I love to take first-time visitors through the beautiful old neighborhoods near Rice University, and to one or more of our wonderful museums, particularly the Menil Collection or the MFAH. Not to mention our fabulous restaurants!

When we lived in Southern California I got so tired of taking visitors to see the Queen Mary and the Spruce Goose, I finally rebelled and told the Scientist he could take them without me from then on. But he was sick of going there too, so that stop disappeared from the itinerary....

2. When visiting another city or town, do you try to cram in as much as possible, or take it slow and easy?

It depends on whether we've been there before, and how much time we have. There are usually a few "must sees" that we fit in, then we try to leave some time to just wander around and explore.

3. When traveling, where are we most likely to find you: strolling through a museum, checking out the local shopping, or _________?

Museums, definitely. After that...it is really pathetic how much I am all about the FOOD. I start my Chowhound and Slow Travel restaurant research months in advance. We are not big shoppers, but like to find one or two very nice things that will always remind us of the trip. (like our wild goose wall hanging from Iona, or our handwoven sea grass basket from Charleston)

4. Do you like organized tours and/or carefully planned itineraries, or would you rather strike out and just see what happens?

Somewhere in between, depending on how familiar we already are with the area. We went to Scotland with a large group of church friends, and although we had a delightful trip, we felt like the stereotypical American tourists, rushed along in a big herd. The two days we hiked in the Highlands and strolled along Loch Tay by ourselves were much more relaxing. In April we are going to Italy with a small tour group (14 people) that will provide a balance between following a scheduled itinerary and being able to wander off by ourselves when we want to.

5. After an extended trip, what do you find yourself craving the most about home?

My own bed--and waggies and doggie kisses from Amie!

New babies

I come from a long line of dog people. Nobody in my family has ever had a cat, or wanted one. I'm mildly allergic to cats, and I know nothing about them. But now I'm finding out how sweet a kitty can be.

Several formerly feral cats live on our patio at work. Through the patience and love of all the cat people in the office, Casper and Grisabella now trust us and will come stroll through the building, meow hello, and let us pick them up and cuddle them. We had Casper spayed, but neglected to provide that service for Grisabella. Recently she has been getting rounder and rounder; as the vet had said (very early on) that she was not pregnant, we were worried that she might have a tumor. On Friday her "daddy" at the office took her back to the vet, who stated that indeed she was very pregnant! Sometime over the weekend Grisabella had five kittens! Three are black like the cat we think is the father, and two are gray tabbies like their mama.

We have kept them sheltered on the patio, but the forecast tonight is for temperatures in the high twenties. So late this afternoon we waited until our supervisor had left the building, and we stealthily moved Grisi and her babies into an empty office to spend the night! We were afraid the move would agitate her, but to our relief, she ate some supper, then settled down with the babies and began to purr.

I don't work in that office on Fridays but will have to call and see how they fared. Grisi's "daddy" arrives at 7:30 and will be able to get them all back outside before we are discovered!

If you know anyone who would like a kitten in about eight weeks, and can come to Houston to get it, let me know!

Update: I am told that Grisi and her babies had a warm, peaceful night, and settled comfortably back on the patio this morning.

Gargoyle in love

How cool is this?

I am now the proud owner of an original SpookyRach gargoyle. How's that for a Valentine swap? All I sent her was some dumb fudge. On the back she wrote, Love is Blind--or--Love Is a Blind Gargoyle?

I'm taking this to the office tomorrow! That ought to spark some good discussions!

Thanks again, Rach! Happy Valentine's Day!

Cozy, chilly Saturday

It is chilly and gray outside this morning. The Scientist is off Habitating, Amie is downstairs guarding the front door (actually, she's asleep, but she is at her post), and I am enjoying the afterglow (afterbuzz?) of having gone and worked out pretty hard this morning, followed by a great big mocha latte from a cheerful little locally-owned coffee house down the road. I can smell the aroma of tonight's crockpot Mexican turkey thighs, and life is good.

Of course I need to get to work. I have FIVE testing reports to write today. There is a case worker who is expecting ALL of them on Monday. However, these are simple reports (unlike some) and if I nail my bottom to the chair, and turn off the wi-fi, I can knock out each one in about an hour.

Are you familiar with Freecycle? It is a network of community groups that connect people who want to get rid of useful stuff they no longer need, with people who can use it. I just joined our local group this week. Later on today, a young woman with a one-year-old son is coming to pick up a baby gate that we used for a few months when we brought Amie home (she and Zorra were not very pleased to meet each other, and we had to keep them separated for a while). It's been sitting in my closet for two years, so I'm glad to get it out of here. So anyway, I guess I'll hang out, write, and wait for her to call. I miss the Scientist, but I'm grateful for the peace and quiet of my home today.

What are you up to?

Out of the mouths of babes

Our preaching text this morning was Luke 5:1-11. As you probably know, in the NRSV verse 10 reads "...you will be catching people." The parishioner who brought the children's sermon today began with that text, then proceeded to tell the children extemporaneously how Jesus would make us "fishers of men." She said that several times. Finally after about the third "men", a little girl spoke up, "But what if they're GIRLS??"

Friday Five: ch-ch-ch-ch-changes

1. Share, if you wish, the biggest change you experienced last year.

2006 was a year with no drastic changes, that I can recall. I'm at a point in my life where that feels like a good thing! I am making some changes in my practice because of the frustration of fighting with managed care companies, the stress level, and the general boom-or-bust nature of a small solo practice, especially for an introvert who would rather eat a bug than have to develop a "marketing plan" and "market" myself to doctors, etc. I've been here long enough that word of mouth referrals can keep me busy one or two days a week, and with my regular (and less stressful) half-time job, that's all I need. I have friends who work their butts off to develop a full-time private practice, but that has never been my goal.

2. Talk about a time you changed your mind about something, important or not.

Well, I changed my mind about blogging! I couldn't imagine putting my meanderings out on the Internet for anyone to see, but here they are. Most of the time it's been fun.

3. Bishop John Shelby Spong wrote a controversial book called "Why Christianity Must Change or Die." Setting aside his ideas--what kind of changes would you like to see in the Church?

The Church, at its basic level, is the community made up of individuals who are in relationship with Jesus Christ. For it to grow, each individual within the Church has to pray for help to get serious about that and to be open to what the Holy Spirit is telling her or him to do in at least three arenas--personal life, as a member of the faith community, and out in the larger society. The only way for me to do that is to seek the Spirit's guidance through prayer, Scripture, and the counsel of people who know me well and whose godly judgment I trust. If following God, and becoming more like Christ, is truly the desire of an individual's heart, God will honor that desire. And then a church full of people who are dedicated to Jesus and who really understand that that involves serving one another and seeking to meet the needs of the community, is going to grow.

So understand I am not just talking about a personal or pietistic thing, but that is where it begins. Sometimes church feels like a little club where we go to make business and social contacts, and act nice. It's not about acting nice, it's not even about doing good deeds (in our own strength). It's about the power of the Holy Spirit, and unless the church is made up of people who love God and seek to know and follow God, it will go nowhere.

4. Have you changed your hairstyle/hair color in the last five years? If so, how many times?

Not at all! Boring, huh? Sometimes I tell my stylist friend, "A little shorter this time", but I don't tell him that's just so I won't have to come back so soon. I stopped coloring my gray hair years ago, because really, once you start, when do you stop? It's OK. I have earned every strand. And maybe some day my hair will look like Emmylou Harris's (snort, guffaw).

5. What WERE they thinking with that New Coke thing?

No idea. It tasted way too much like Pepsi for this Southern gal. Classic Coke forever!

Thank you so much for your prayers and good wishes. I feel fine now, but believe me, it was rough sailing for a while. The Scientist is fine too.

Yuck

I am down with a very nasty GI bug that hit me like a freight train last night at about 3:00 A.M. I thought the worst was over, but, well, it's not. Please pray for me--and for the Scientist, who has been wonderful, and who I hope does not get this after me. Thank you.

Oops

I apologize to all of you (Songbird, PPB, Cathy, maybe others) on whose blogs my comments have posted twice, recently. It seems to be some sort of server issue on my end. I promise you I don't believe that my pearls of wisdom are so profound that they bear repeating. I'll try to figure out what the problem is.

Friday Five: Renewal

In thinking of four favorite means of self-care or refreshment, and a fifth that is, so far, still a dream, here are my first impressions:

1. Reading on the couch. Usually that just means looking at a magazine, but might also mean a novel. Currently I'm trying to get into Jane Stevenson's Empress of the Last Days, the last in a trilogy that includes The Winter Queen and The Shadow King, both of which I thoroughly enjoyed. This one, unlike the others, has a contemporary setting and I'm having a little trouble getting involved in it--but it's still nice to lie on the couch and try.

2. A wonderful dinner out with the Scientist, at one of our favorite restaurants, or one of the new ones we've wanted to try.

3. Exercise. It is so hard to get up and get out of the house to exercise. Why, when I always feel so much better after I do it?

4. Singing. By Thursday night I am so tired in body, mind, and spirit. I look forward to going to choir practice that evening, because I feel better when I sing.

If I could cheat and add 4 1/2 I would say "travel". I am deeply grateful for the dream that will be coming true in late April, the vacation of a lifetime that includes, among other wonderful destinations:

5. A week in Tuscany. We will be roaming slowly through the Chianti region with a minimal agenda, other than tasting lots of wine, eating things like artisanal wild boar salami, gazing over the hills, and pinching ourselves to be sure that we are really there.

All Rise

My Peculiar Aristocratic Title is: Her Grace Lady Zorra the Antediluvian of Goosnargh on the Carpet Get your Peculiar Aristocratic Title

Needless to say, this title comes with a LOT of sterling.

Remembrance

Over at St. Casserole's place there's a pleasant discussion of caring for and enjoying one's fine sterling flatware. I'm sure most people enjoy and take pride in fine tableware, especially if it has sentimental value, but somehow that feels particularly Southern to me. In the time and place where I grew up, my friends and I were taught about china and silver patterns, along with our female relatives' biased opinions about which we should someday choose for our own. We were taught how to take care of our family's nice tableware, and to this day, seeing a jar of Wright's silver polish reminds me of preparing for Christmas dinner. We were taught "proper table service", and at age twelve or thirteen my cousin and I gave a little tea for her out-of-town cousins (other side of the family) who came to visit, because our mothers wanted to teach us how.

If that sounds like another world, there is an entertaining, and accurate, book by Maryln Schwartz called A Southern Belle Primer, or Why Princess Margaret Will Never Be a Kappa Kappa Gamma, that explains it all, and even includes the Silver Pattern Zodiac. Actually I think it was another world, but growing up that way taught me to give a small party with confidence--no small feat for an introvert--and taught me to respect and care for nice things. (How many times did my mother exhort me to care for her 1936 wedding china, reminding me, "This is pre-war Limoges. The factories were bombed. You can't get this now.")

One of the smartest things I ever did was to marry a man with the same last initial as mine. My new name still matched all of that monogrammed sterling! Every time I get out that sterling, and that china, I think of my parents and my family, remembering years of special dinners and celebrations.

When my aunt Sara Dunn left me her Waterford crystal I was grateful, if a bit melancholy, but I didn't expect to do what I did when I unpacked it: sit on the floor and weep over each piece. I wept remembering her, her good life, who she was, who I am, where we came from.

When his kids were growing up, my paternal grandfather (Sara Dunn's dad) often told them, "Remember who you are." While that primarily meant, "...and behave accordingly," it seems that something as mundane as cherishing the tableware that he and his children used, plays a part in helping me remember who I am.

Extra nerd points

In somebody's blog comments tonight I was reading about a way to earn "extra nerd points", a suggestion that was enthusiastically received. That got me wondering: how many of us self-identify as nerds? How many of us were considered nerdy as kids, and grew up to say "so what" and celebrate the intelligence or the special interests that the other kids had scorned? When I was a kid I thought there were very few people like me, and that I needed to learn to act like all the other belles-in-training. As I grew older I was fortunate to realize I'd been mistaken. I met more and more people like me--quite a few people who "get" me. Eventually I even married someone like me.

What's the difference between a nerd and a geek, anyway?

If the Scientist and I had been able to have kids, I would have loved to receive this at my baby shower.

24

I try really hard not to get hooked on TV shows. I refuse to get caught up in having to sit in front of a box every week at a specific time. My last "must see" was Chicago Hope, which was a long time ago, and before that it was St. Elsewhere, my all time favorite show. Since I love doctor shows, I've resisted getting involved with Grey's Anatomy because if I did I'd have to watch it every week. I've tried to stay away from all the shows people talk about at work, like Lost or, God have mercy, American Idol.

Well, tonight I made the mistake of tuning in to 24 for the very first time. BIG mistake. Oh my gosh, that show is WAY too violent for me, but, well, now I guess I'm going to have to watch it anyway.

(Sorry I have had nothing profound to say lately. Work is frying my brain.)

Just as well

I have to laugh. I just spent ten minutes writing a post in which I begged your indulgence as I vented about the frustrating events of my day. I went to preview it, then tried to switch back to the previous page and lost the whole thing. I will not write the whole thing again. I will repeat that after a day like this is over, I am thankful that I can go to church to help fix (and eat) baked chicken, mashed potatoes, and green beans with my friends, and then sit with my husband as he leads a discussion on the providence of God. I'm so tired, I may not say much tonight. But that's OK.

P.S. Quotidian Grace has posted about a wonderful woman from our church, named Vivian, who died yesterday after a long battle with melanoma. Please pray for her husband and teenaged daughter.

Friday Five: Birthday, Redux

1. "It's my party and I'll [blank] if I want to..."
Favorite way to celebrate your birthday (dinner with family? party with friends? a day in solitude?) I prefer to go to a special restaurant with the Scientist and perhaps family and a few close friends. The older I get, the less interested I am in having a big party.

2. "You say it's your birthday... it's my birthday too, yeah..." Do you share your birthday with someone famous? (Click here to find out!)
Well, I already knew I shared my birthday with Mikhail Gorbachev...and at one time, it was a point of particular pride to me that John Cowsill and I were born on EXACTLY THE SAME DAY. Now I find that among my other birthday buddies are Lou Reed, Jon Bon Jovi, and Laraine Newman--not to mention Daniel Craig, the new Bond.
My dad and I nearly were birthday buddies, as his was the day after mine. The story goes that shortly before I was born at around 7:30 P.M., Mama asked Daddy if she should try to hold on until midnight. He assured her that would not be necessary.

3. "Lordy Lordy look who's forty..."Milestone birthdays: a) just like any other birthday--they're just numbers, people. b) a good opportunity to look back/take stock c) enjoy the black balloons--I'll be hiding under a pile of coats until the day is over d) some combination of the above, or something else entirely.
Mostly (b), I guess, but probably more (d). I received the full black-balloon treatment for 30 and 40, and enjoyed it. But for 50, this past year, I wanted something quieter and more intimate. The Scientist and I went to Big Bend and the surrounding area for a week, and enjoyed hiking and just hanging out in the beautiful West Texas desert. We had my birthday dinner in a very chic little restaurant in Marfa, an odd little town that is a bit full of itself but should not be missed if you have any interest in contemporary art, or like to hang out in cool bookstores. I am bursting with more West Texas travel tips, which I will gladly provide on request. :)

The Scientist's 50th birthday and our silver wedding anniversary will both be this year. We plan to celebrate this spring with three weeks in Italy!!

4. "Happy birthday, dear... Customer..."Have you ever been sung to in a restaurant? Fun or cringe-worthy?
Horrors!! I hate it!! When I turned 24, the gentleman I was seeing at the time took me to a very elegant and, in those days, well-known Houston restaurant where peacocks roamed the manicured grounds amid the azaleas, and the food and service were impeccable. Not the sort of place where one would expect a birthday serenade. But when the maitre d' found out it was my birthday, he offered to have all of the waiters come and sing. I begged him PLEASE PLEASE not to do that. At the end of the meal he came over by himself, gave me a mint, and sang "Happy Birthday", very quietly. That was OK.

5. "Take my birthday--please"Tell me one advantage and one disadvantage about your particular birthday (e.g. birthday in the summer--never had to go to school; birthday near Christmas--the dreaded joint presents)
EDITED TO ADD: This could also simply be something you like/dislike about your birthday (e.g. I like sharing a birthday with my best friend, etc.).
The only disadvantage to my birthday is that it almost always falls during Lent, when I am usually attempting to abstain from alcohol and refined sugar. I confess that I have been known to grant myself a special dispensation for that one day.

Moving on

Tonight at choir practice we sorted all of the Christmas music (and there was a LOT) so that our devoted volunteer librarians could file it away. I never did blog about how thrilled I was that this year we sang Vivaldi's Gloria, which has been very special to me since I first sang it with a group of good friends about 26 years ago, at the church where the Scientist and I later met and married. That piece reminds me of some very happy times, and to have the opportunity to sing it again was a joy.

When we opened our folders tonight, there instead of the Christmas pieces we found Dubois' The Seven Last Words of Christ. That was slightly jarring, but I know that in a way it is fitting; even during Christmastide, we remember Good Friday.

Random asterisks of New Year's Day

***
There's a lot to be said for going to a New Year's Eve party on your own block. Our neighbors three doors down had a great party--lots of good company and good food, and I had my--believe it or not--very first martini. (Meh.) We excused ourselves early to go get Amie and walk down the street to my mother-in-law's house, where the six of us (counting all of the dogs) rang in the New Year. After making a valiant attempt to watch New Year's Rockin' Eve (Who are these people?) we were delighted to find Garrison Keillor hosting Emmylou Harris and the Old Crow Medicine Show, among others, from the Ryman Auditorium in Nashville. Now that was a great New Year's Eve show.

Why, yes, we are old. And your point?

Did anyone else notice that Lake Wobegon Lutheran Church follows the common lectionary? Keillor delivered a brief homily on the same Colossians passage we had heard preached Sunday morning.

***
Now I'm watching the Rose Parade, which I love to do because of the six years we lived less than a mile from the parade route. I get a little homesick for Pasadena when I see those shots of the San Gabriel Mountains and the Norton Simon Museum. We used to get up around 6:30 and walk over to Colorado Blvd. to stake out a bit of sidewalk (hard to do, since the sidewalks are covered with sleeping revellers at that hour) or, better yet, a random bit of scaffolding on which to perch. The floats look wonderful on TV, but you cannot imagine how breathtaking some of them are in person. I'm a big crier, and I have been moved to tears more than once by seeing an amazing float, up close and personal.

Something they don't show you on TV: The reason the cameras are near the beginning of the parade route is because these very heavy and elaborate floats sometimes break down halfway down Colorado Blvd., and must be towed the rest of the way. Not telegenic. Something else they don't show you on TV: the horde of street preachers following the parade with megaphones and huge turn-or-burn signs, handing out tracts that Pasadena sanitation workers later sweep up by the hundreds.

One of my classmates at Fuller was a native Pasadenan who grew up in a neighborhood near the end of the parade route. When he was a kid, he and his friends would comfortably watch most of the parade on TV, and then run outside to see it live!

***
Twenty-five years ago today, in a tiny apartment living room, a smiling young man knelt before his girlfriend, took her hand, and asked her to marry him. She said yes--then cried for joy. Sometimes she still does.

***
Don't forget your black-eyed peas! Happy New Year!

Amie's adventure

This is our church's week to participate in Family Promise, which we do four times a year. Check out the link for details on this practical, faith-based outreach to homeless families. When our church has guests, the Scientist and I usually serve as overnight hosts on Friday night. This week we are hosting a hardworking single mom (who had to get up by 6:00 this morning to go to her job), her sweet teenage daughter, and her lively, happy five-year-old son.

Violent storms were in the forecast for last night (part of the same system that sent President and Mrs. Bush fleeing to the storm shelter on their ranch earlier in the day). Our precious old dog is terrified of thunder, and we hated to leave her alone overnight with a bad storm approaching. So, since Amie is gentle and well-behaved...we did what you might expect us to do...we decided that Amie would help us host last night. She's gone to church before, but not overnight!

I was touched by how thrilled five-year-old Lee was to have the chance to pet and play with a dog. Our sweet girl was, of course, very patient and tolerant (I only had to admonish him once that she was too small for him to ride), and, to his delight, decided they were friends and gave him several kisses. There was a lot to sniff and explore, but after everyone went to bed Amie settled down on her familiar bed next to our pallets, and was content.

The storms never came, or if they did we never heard them. But we were glad we brought Amie with us, just the same. And I know Lee was glad, too.